Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
we just ha sex. he lasted two minutes. i told him to leave because i had class
isnt today saturday?
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I made friends with the delivery guy because he had beautiful dread locks and was a Zelda fan. He texted me after he left saying he wasn't trying to be creepy but we should be friends. We're hanging out tomorrow.
How does this kind of shit happen to you?!
I hope to God it's not the new neighbors having sex, because what I'm hearing sounds like a mildly defective vuvuzela or a cow giving birth.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
Don't tell him that you hope he dies in a boring missionary position with his wife. That doesn't go over well.
Today, this cop risk his life to save me from a sink hole but all I could do is laugh, I was so stoned
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
