R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
Well you really should've thought of that before you painted your walls the same color as your toilet
I think he should just go away to a small penis island and never come back
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
I just gargled with NyQuil
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
WHY didn't you stop me from ordering $900 worth of socks last night when I was very obviously judgement impaired at the time?!?!
Tonight I learned to never try to impress your ex by dancing on the stripper pole while drunk. That’s how you end up in the ER
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
Randomize
