p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
In last nights drunken stupor i apparently purchased a luxury travel package for two to Australia. So uh...get a passport and clear your schedule for next month
I appreciate alcohol much more now that I have to be sober sometimes
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
It's to the point where if a guy can so much as find my clit, I'll consider him amazing in bed
There's just something classy about smoking a blunt in a prom dress.
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