Forget abc fam drinking games. Take a shot everytime Tyra says I and you'll be dead by the first commercial
Acid is not a monday night drug
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
yeah i didn't know anyone, but i just walked in with a lit sparkler and wearing a budweiser shirt and someone handed me a beer.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
Like, actually questioning if you ate dog shit last night
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
to answer your questions bluetooth, 30ft, like a tampon, ask her, her idea, got tired of trying to find her in crowed clubs
I think someone tried to make a huge bowl of ramen in my bathtub. There's noodles everywhere in my bathroom.
you just have the mind of an innocent, non-tainted child.
YOU KNOW THAT'S BULLSHIT BECAUSE YOU'RE THE REASON IT'S BULLSHIT
not ubering you a puppy
He brought me Plan B in the snowstorm.
A+ 👏🏼
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
She and I had some intense sexual tension earlier when she dumped a package of apple straws all over my body.
Randomize
