i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
don't get me wrong, i love how you're fun and free spirited. but there are some situations...like shooting down a bottle of sambuca standing in the shallow end topless surrounded by my friends
I actually had no interest in him until he started talking about his 4 arrests. That made him go from a 5 1/2 to a 8, easily.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
DO NOT EAT ONE OF DONOVANS WEED RICE CRISPIES. I REPEAT DO NOT EAT IF YOU VALUE YOUR EYE BALLS
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
so serious though like its almost like I'm playing a game that's my life and Im always losing
On a scale of 1 to 10 how good of an idea would it be to pregame at the airport right now
Ten
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
Randomize