She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
Who is this?
You offered to lift up your dress at the bar so I could see your lower back tattoo
Um, I think that was a general offer to everyone. So...who IS this?
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
I think i got my first booty call. it was like she came to my house. sex. leave.
Congratulations. Welcome to the wonderful world of quick dirty secret sexy time.
thanks... i think. haha
Randomize
