South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
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what is it with giant penises always finding me
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
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I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
I think I'm still high. And I definitely still smell like lobster, so there's that
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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