She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
My professors need to stop cancelling class. Bad things happen when I have too much free time on my hands. Bad things.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hey did i steal that bike before or after the ball dropped, casue i might have broken my resolution already
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
returning from a 6am booty call in 2 feet of snow on a Tuesday is a bold new kind of low for me
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
God I miss you. I would very much like to have sexual intercourse with you. I'm home eating chicken alfredo.
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