its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
Her little brother walked in right as I was finishing and was like "uhhh hey there's a lunar eclipse outside"
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
I'm doing shots of jagger in dixi cups and making a lesson plan for my 8th grader summer school class. My life is so close to adulthood I can taste it
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
Well when we Get drunk it gets rowdy. We could always attempt self-control. But historically and statistically speaking, we fail at that.
Randomize
