Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
My drug dealer just made me a sandwich at the local deli. Starting to question his street cred.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I am a terrible person. This is almost as bad as when I was going to see my ex while my boyfriend was at that funeral.
I'm not an expert but calling her the "hot lesbian" isn't going to coerce her into a 3some with you
The air was thick with penises
Jesus these cramps...it's like every potential fetus I swallowed last night is personally punching me in the uterus
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Would it be weird if your parents sold me weed?
I need vodka and champagne for my new favorite drink, vodkapagne. Alternative spellings are "vodkapain" and "vom-machine"
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
Okay, so when I go to meet your grandma, let's do a quick cum check to we don't have another "what's that on your face?" situation.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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