If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
someone owes me an orgasm
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
You took his virginity and then he got lost on his way back to his hotel room... We found him at 3am sitting on the sidewalk crying. Kudos.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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