and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
What did you want me to do? You know I don't like fat people. I'm an asshole to them sober it only gets worse when I'm drunk
That doesn't make it okay! You tried kicking the girl's mom out where we were having the party at!
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my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
My right arm is handcuffed to my leg... Please help.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
My vagina has made plenty life decisions and I would like to point out very few if not any of them were in my favor.
Well, the night started out with you ALMOST falling out of a tree. Then we went back to the tree after about 9 shots and you DID fall out of the tree.
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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