Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
hey sry I lost all my numbers who is this?
pat the guy you slept with
still need a last name
He wasn't there when I woke up so I left him a heart shaped line before I left.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I don't know what possessed you to do that, but you have to give the stripper more money before you try to check her oil or they are going to throw us out every time you do that.
Just because you can put your penis in it does not make it "good stuff".
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The only difference is Iv never super glued straws to your nipples.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
If you're going to drink sriracha straight from the bottle whilst crying, at least wear the giant sombrero for the enjoyment of your audience.
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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