He doesn't know I'm infertile yet, that's when the sex gets good
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
In a car. Threw up in my mouth. Haven't said a word in 10 minutes.
I just lit a candle in my room using axe and a lighter, that's how bored I am. Let's get schwasted.
I'm going home because your Crackraptor step-brother tried getting his nasty meat hawks in my pants last night.
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm not the type to go to a guys house...in your case his boat...and sleep with them..I mean I have in the past but I'm trying to be more serious and grown up
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
Randomize
