I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
You were talking to yourself and eating cold cuts in the kitchen when I found you
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
Randomize