Solid performance last night. Wanna be fuck buddies?
How was last night?
She looked like Delta Burke in her fat Designing Women days ... and she just left like 2 minutes ago. Right after breakfast.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Also, I've sobered up around 5am, in Delaware. I remember making this decision, and highly regret it now.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Everything is covered in gelatin and pam cooking spray. Jesus be a shield.
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
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