I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
You owe me a new pair of headphones. You plugged mine into the top of a mustard bottle.
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
i woke up with a wedding ring drawn on my finger...if this was vegas id be worried
This isn't a because its valentines day booty call, it's a because your cock is phenomenal booty call that happens to be on valentines day..
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
The coast is clear - also, would it bother you if I chose not to wear pants?
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
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