if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
He needs a high five right to the fucking mouth. With a chair. Or an atomic bomb.
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If you walk into a place and someone says "happy birthday" while handing you a shot. You. Take. It.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Spent tonight painting strippers in camo.
Randomize
