I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Sudden memory flashback: drunk me outside ripping my tampon out and throwing it into the neighbors yard, silently cheering 'time for sexxxx'. I sense a dangerous pattern emerging
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
his butt looks cute in my panties so i decided he has to wear panties all the time from now on.
You sent 2 glasses of water to the table next us and told to the waitress they were on you. I repeat: water
His dog was laying on the bed and he said we could have sex as long as we didn't disturb his dog. My life is pathetic
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
Did you get drunk between now and two texts ago?
Randomize
