SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
What would you say if I got first degree burns on my nipples from drinking coffee topless?
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
I think that "I fucked your little brother" wasn't the best way to introduce yourself.....
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Halfway through the night I was hiding in a trashcan. Then I "sobered" up and ran around the house throwing change because I wanted to make my last moments of 2013 charitable.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
He was singing R-E-S-P-E-C-T to a stripper between motorboats while our HR manager cheered him on.
I'll do anything with you, except downhill sports and butt stuff.
Randomize
