im so horny i just used my electric toothbrush to masturbate. god help me
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I told her I was team Edward. I haven't gotten laid that easy since I told your sister that I had cancer
just saw an advertisement for the rock in the tooth fairy...can you say rock bottom?
WHAT KIND OF DUMPSTER DOESNT HAVE PIZZA IN IT?
He was all like, "I've prayed every single day just for one more night with you."
Omg just give him a quick handy and walk out.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
Growing a beard is gonna make smoking a pipe look so much more majestic
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
Oh no. He's definitely text-flirting with me. No straight man over 30 has any other excuse to use so many smiley faces...
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