i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Don't worry about it. I've taken so much Plan B, my uterus is purely for show now.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
I just spewed blue gatorade in the shower. It looked like the ocean.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Just so we're clear this time around: This is dinner with my FAMILY. Not an opportunity for you to drink too much, and use the word "dick-thumpin" in casual conversation.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
Well I'm going to hell. But I'm going after multiple orgasms.
He stole me a cantaloupe and we drunkenly broke into a park and ate it on a bench with my pocket knife. I think i need to marry him
Randomize