my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
Skinny jeans should not be made in size 14. Then, it's just a lie.
me and this guy in my office just exchanged an "i saw you at a drag show last night" look as he passed by my desk.
even iPhones love lady gaga. everytime I type haha it trys to correct it to gaga. this is bullshit...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No dude, he just dipped his cigarette info ranch dressing and lit it. He's said he normally doesn't do that but it's Memorial Day.
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Like Napoleon Dynamite?
Exactly like Napoleon Dynamite
But with bacon.
Randomize