i passed out on the floor in my hallway and woke up with my dog licking himself 2 inches from my face. my first reaction? envy
My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
ill give you a picture of me naked for $5. im desperate.
All I could think when I saw it was, "All right, Vagina, only one of us is getting out of this alive."
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I'm SO high. And there is so much pudding in this car
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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