I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
All i remember as you were making ramen is that you kept slurring "i like you as a color"...
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
Currently bleeding through my leggings. Not good. Not good at all.
Hospital.
I am invincible.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
I'm happy in my shell. My shell which consists of keeping guys in the friend zone and me masturbating...
The bottle of Wild Turkey is empty and there is a pile of wet cement in the garage. What happened?
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
On a side note, my ex husband offered to buy me shrooms
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
Randomize
