i just borrowed 5 dollars from my eight year old sister. i'm at a new low
just the thought makes me want to clean my vag with a clorox wipe
can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
Family of uber douches all wearing ed hardy in a hummer taking up 2 parking spots at starbucks. Please be more cliche
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
Just did a drug deal on the toy aisle at walmart, Merry Christmas
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
He forgot how to sit. we had to pick him up and set him down.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize