How do I say to her "Have you eaten mango lately because my penis had an allergic reaction"
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Hey bro u need to come home now, me and andy just had a 15 minute conversation about fig newtons. f this bong
i really should have bought real food rather than condoms, olives, coleslaw and beer...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
What would you say is a healthy ratio of sex vs. being called a fucking asshole in a relationship?
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize