Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
I just got three quarters of the way there before I realized I was way too stoned for class so I bought a smoothie and walked home.
biggest mistake ever: halloween 2009
I woke up with spaghetti in my mouth
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Never get a handjob from a girl who gives deep tissue massages.
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
Hungover snowboarding. Puked off the lift and traumatized a group lesson for kids. Crash course on adulthood.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I think your husband is breaking up with me...
Whenever someone tells me they've never met a bisexual, I feel like a majestic fucking unicorn.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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