i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
hey you knew what you were in for when i showed up with 2 fifths of Jim. plus i left money to pay for a new sink
We have a tower of vodka coming. OF VODKA
you were sat in the corner crying until someone gave you a baguette, which you then tried to feed to the duck doorstop.
I regret nothing
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
My worst fear almost came to light...I was choking and the cats stared at me like they had no problem eating my face if I died
We're both clumsy. What does this imply for our kids?
Helmets.
That pizza at 1 am literally tasted like I was eating an angel
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
So we hooked up and then instead of texting me, he endorsed me on LinkedIn for Microsoft Word a few days later
My mom just asked if I wanted a mimosa when I got out of the bath.
I think everything's gonna be okay.
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
