I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
2nd semester senior, always drunk. at this point if i don't get a good parking spot, i turn around and drive home
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I have a LOT of reasons to worry about radical feminists taking my lady balls, frankly. A lot.
He probably thinks you're playing hard to get.
Hard to get?? I'm playing leave me the fuck alone.
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
When your hungover saltines taste like hope...
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Well there's a microwave in my yard now too. I fucking Bruce/Caitlyn Jennered decathloned that bitch.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
Randomize
