I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
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Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
showering high made me realize that i should seriously reconsider my career path... id be a damn good hair shampooer & head massager
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
First poop in my apartment for the summer, officially settled in. :)
Everyone says she blew me in the bathroom, so I believe it, I just don't REMEMBER.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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