She's a black belt cougar in the 6th degree.
you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I just got home. Seriously all I remember is taking out my contacts and putting your balls in my mouth.
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I am the master of subtle flirting. I seduced him by simulating a hand job with an epi-pen during training.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
I mean I'm not gay but a hundred bucks is a hundred bucks
Did I leave the house with out a shirt or socks?
Yea, you said you didn't need them cause she was going to take them off anyways and that it would "save time".
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
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