I'm seeing double. Its like being in a room full of people
its like playing clue every morning after we party. she did him in the kitchen with..oh god.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
Single person behavior: I wanted a cookie but was too lazy to make or go buy any, so I let cookie dough ice cream melt and ate all the chunks. Pantsless.
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
It's like the bat signal. He only texts me when I'm naked.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
I don't know what the hell I'm going to do with myself when this is all over. I'll probably just go back to smoking pot and trying to learn italian.
Randomize
