I sat down with you and helped you write your will last night. I was THAT convinced that you weren't waking up.
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
You bit the bartender when he refused to poor rum in your purse and hand you a straw.
You called me at 3 am and I rode my flat ass bike that I dug out of my garage in the dark to meet you at dunkin donuts for a 10 minute convo about your mother and you didn't drive me home.
you owe me a blunt and a bottle of moscato.
IM WAITING BITCH. ANSWER ME.
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We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
I really thought I'd be the only alcoholic drinking alone in my car at noon in the Lowe's parking lot. Passed out dude in the car next to me begs to differ.
I'm horny too so maybe we will both recap our regrets on Sunday
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
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I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
i just want to die with dignity and clean teeth, is that too much to ask?
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
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