I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
don't worry about the poodle she's always like that. she's like 14 years old and ate a bag of weed when she was a puppy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
Every perfect package comes with a warning label.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
No that one bar I got kicked out of got closed so that technically doesn't count
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Will exercising make me less horny?
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize