I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
I just want to know how you cleaned her puke off the twister mat with no gloves. And didn't throw up
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
well when do great stories at the expense of people's relationships become a bad thing?
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I feel like these arent even my fingers anymore
I was walking out the front door and heard his roomate say "It looks like you need a chiropractor." I think my work here is done.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
My Easter Basket from my parents consisted of one chocolate bunny and a massive amount of condoms and a single note saying "the pope approves of the use of condoms" love mom and dad
I'm driving to work hungover. I feel like I got hit by a train and then drank that train too.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
I only have sex with you to have a memory to masturbate to.
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