As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Pls don't use the words alligator, purple, and sperm in the same sentence ever again.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
don't let me wipe my vag with a dirty leaf outside of mcdonalds ever again.
you peed off the balcony at your sisters and asked someone below to catch it with a cup
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
I was too hungover to read the menu. I literally pointed at a picture of an advertisement and handed the cashier my card
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
You insisted that your middle name was "velociraptor" for 20 minutes and every time someone said something you tried to relate it to velociraptors. That kind of drunk.
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
You should have thought of that before emitting walrus sounds while intoxicated
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