Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
yeah that's what i said...you fucked him and peed on his comforter
yeah well...Like any great yacht, I leave a wake
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
No...this little piggys going to the bar
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I mean I'm sad it didn't work out but tbh he he can't unlick my booty hole or unbreak his headboard... He won't forget my name ever
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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