So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Ever find yourself wondering if your life is God's way of telling a joke?
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I can't believe I had to sit there pretending to play Halo with a condom on for 20 Minutes because your brother barged in to tell a story.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
When I'm drunk I really like to hold dicks. Like, affectionately.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He’s over 6 feet has amazing posture and went to Harvard and has an awesome job and a great dick and loves Jesus and is an organ donor
Is this the guy you have listed as free food in your phone
Noooo he’s listed as free food #5
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
Randomize
