i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
Just took a closer look at the paper that kid wrote me his number on. It was an ATM receipt. His balance is $17.89. i made the right choice.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
I didnt say frisky time, just alone time, to chat, or watch a show, or stare into one anothers eyes, or souls, or asses, whatever you straight people do
DON'T YOU TELL ME I HAVE HERPES ON MY BIRTHDAY. THAT IS MOST DEFINITELY NOT A HAPPY BIRTHDAY.
I just want my paycheck, and my friends. And alcohol and tacos. Is that so much to ask?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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