is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
he just called me skinny, hes either trying to get laid, or i'm going to have to marry this man
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And nobody saved him?? That chick had like three teeth TOPS
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
guy just got out of the car at the drive in and told his girlfriend "fuck you and your taco" and walked off
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
We interrupt your regularly scheduled Saturday morning programming with this important announcement: you are not the father. I repeat not the father. Congratulations and have a nice day.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
If I died tonight, I'd be content knowing you were the last person to see my boobs.
She thinks you guys are the gods of the bathroom. If she runs past you naked, give me a heads up
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Randomize