apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
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Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Nah. And this is true. It's like you were trained by sexual Jedi or something.
*jedi wave* this is the penis you were looking for
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
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How about we just have a naked taco night instead?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
I shouldn't have to tell you to stop throwing knives at me.
only 3 drinks in and he showed me his fursuit, please come pick me up
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