is it bad that i shorted Freddie Mac immediatly after I heard about the CFO?
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
I think I used your jacking off shit when I showered. I couldn't see shit, it was all oily. Fuck power outages
For future reference, Twizzlers CAN leave welts.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
She sat next to me on the couch and said "word going around is you got a sweet cock". My nickname problem was solved!
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Also, I want you to know, that not only am I apparently the expert on sexting. Our bishop is consulting me later. So my talents are varied.
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
He screamed, "Let there be light!" when he came
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