So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
(This is the second time ive been high enough to decide to run for office)
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
Randomize
