my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
she gave me her number and i just said "no. cant."
Realistically you can't tell me you're gonna put mashed potatoes on your dick and expect me not to get excited
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
but seriously, if you see a redhead running down the street tonight in a carrot costume, call 911. He's tripping hard.
I always felt my time would come in the form of a tidal wave of whisky
Also while I’m drunk I saw your penis in like 4th grade when I walked past the boys bathroom
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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