Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I just threw up a christmastime peep. I am literally already sick of the holidays.
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
I gave up on alcohol forever for like 2 hours, that's got to be a new record
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My friend had to carry her up the steps on his shoulder, and then she got up, found an ironing board and set it up in my friend's room just in case he needed to iron things.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
So... I sharted on the plane. It was hard to maintain my composure and acted offended at the same time. I hate you for not cutting me off last night.
Randomize