Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
I hope we all get so wasted that we ride the cows again
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
Fast is cars. Home is I now. Drunk yoda me is.
We left him in some bushes a few blocks down toward campus. Did he find his way home?
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
Randomize
