I mean, he's dancing back and forth between pathetically sad and massively fucking creepy.
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I have fifteen cents in cash and 80 cents in the bank. BUT I have weed.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
He's got a wife and three kids but I'm into being that mistake.
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
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