the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally smoked with my brothers, I feel like I just won gold at the Best Older Brother Ever Olympics
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
we are the best best friends ever. You had sex in an ice cream truck I had sex in a fire truck
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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