I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
And for those of you keeping score at home this is the 7th time I've found Casey passed out head first in a bowl of chips at a party I didn't even know she was at
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Nobody knows who they are, but they have an ice luge so they are welcome in my book
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
You can fuck right off with that, "If the earthquake isnt bigger than 5.0, we native Californians dont get out of bed." I am from Chicago. I can handle freak flash floods, polar vortexes and tornados. But my bed violently shaking at 6:30 in the morning is cause for some understandable concern.
Herpes is not a lady problem you can solve with shower beers and kissing boys
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
