just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
and thats how i got kicked in the balls by micky mouse
You were running around the house with a purple crayon asking people to call you harold..
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
of course he's cheating on me, she's 100x prettier and she can do the splits
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
HE CALLED HIMSELF HOT BAR GUY.
If I remember correctly he wasn’t
Randomize
