I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
Is a wave an appropriate goodbye when your one night stand wakes up and walks out towards the door while you are looking through the garbage for the evidence of a condom?
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Dick sucking on arrival? or would you like to cash that in later?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
This is my life. Enjoy the view
I think he might be using me for sex. I also think I might be ok with that.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
My Sexting was not on an AP level
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