after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
so i'm just gonna leave my credit card in your mailbox so you can bail me outta jail.. deal?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm glad I have good healthy relationships with my one night stands
Rule #127: If your going to try fuck a married guy, you gotta be hotter then his wife; diet starts today.
Dude next time u fuck on our counters will u please let me know BEFORE I make lunch.
I told him not to mix beer with his Dr. Pepper...his reply was "i'm a grown ass man i'll do what i want". Judging by the sounds coming out of the bathroom he regrets not listening to me.
He called himself Jesus all night but I'm not sure if that's his real name or not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
all I've ever wanted was a guy with twelve cats who will tie me up in bed
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Randomize