doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
Here's an idea...how about I take shots by myself and drunk dial you around noon?
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
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No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
My roommate threw his shoe through our window and I came out of my blackout kicking holes in my wall. Pretty sure Edward 80 Hands won't be happening anymore.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
So I hear you're taking over showing your penis responsibilities now that I'm gone?
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I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
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