fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
I am going to borrow your water/shock proof video camera for St. Pattys day so that if wake up next to the highway again I know why.
Ok but I hold the right to any footage of you getting slapped, puking, anything with body shots, and allowed to make a montage of it to put on youtube.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
A milkman. But instead of milk I'm delivering marijuana. And instead of a milk truck it's an armored car.
You're a weed delivery man, in an armored car?
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
So, if you were also having sex around 11pm, then we were legitimately being penetrated at the exact same time. That is amazing. We are soul sisters.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
