it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
The only reason you haven't shit yourself yet is because you don't like having fun.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize