Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
I bet Jafar would keep his hat on during
The Mets? Come back? That'd be like Nickelback writing a good song.
Sometimes when i'm at a cross roads in life, i think about what i would want my lifetime movie to show what i did
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
YouTube is recomending me a video on how to make a home made meth bong, what has my life come to?
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
I'm taking a new approach to homewrecking... for science. Or I totally would. I have to see what happens between my ex & his brother when he finds out.
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Nothing shouts "I'm single" like a thousand needlepoint pillows.
I'm playing a lilo and stitch drinking game
Aloha alcoholism.
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
Randomize
