She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
I'm pretty sure you're not supposed to hit on someone with another guy's semen in your hair. not even at ihop.
i normally make it a rule to leave when white people start rapping... but they had blow.
i like him when i'm sober AND when i'm drunk.i've been searching for this my whole life
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
my boobs are worth more now than the blue book value of my car.
Judging by the fact that he asked me if i wanted to serenade him using cocaine and Taylor Swift I'd say I so have it in the bag.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I just smoked weed out of a baked potato.
You rock my world.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
I just had sex on a roof
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Randomize