dude i dont realllllly have to fuck her do i? its just a mess down there and i think im gonna cry
The walk of shame is far, far worse on crutches.
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
Every time a song comes on I get sad if glee has not a cover of it
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
A French guy bit my cheek. Is that sexy there? Also had to threaten to stab the bus driver. I'm not sure I like Europe.
He appeared on my 7th floor fire escape and sang to me and jimmy through the window when we fucked. He's like a drunken mix of Sinatra and Spiderman.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
Hungover, threw up in a cosmetic case in my car this morning. This is real life.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
why does every cop we meet know your name?
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
