you were so high you spent the rest of the night smelling pepper to prove you can sneeze with your eyes open
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Drinking mikes hard & watching the swan princess. i fucking LOVE college
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
It looks like I colored my belly button red at some point
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Pretty much just farted directly in a baby's mouth on the subway
Pro tip: If you tell him that his dick looks like a muppet then you won't have to see him again.
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