piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you told the cab driver to stop being such a pussy because he wouldn't let you shotgun a beer in the backseat
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
The last thing I remember was paying off her younger brother not to judge me, then puking on his shoes.
He told me I was 100% better then porn then passed out nto the cake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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