She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Even my vagina gasped.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
I found his retainer in my ass crack. It smells like shame.
We're bowling witha frozen turkey in the hallway...ur missing out
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
Ive never seen a drunk man get suplexed before last week, now its the standard requirement every time we go out.
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
I was in line at Panera when I got the pic you sent to your coworker. I just showed your vag to a soccer mom. The vibrator was a nice touch.
Randomize
