He finally told me that he's married. I guess it doesn't really matter.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Even worse we were making a sex tape so our reaction to the condom breaking was recorded.
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Randomize
